Handling the hurt
by LadyNightRunner
Summary: Mako was never meant for human bodies. She knew that. He knew that. But that doesn't make Cloud's death any easier. It deosn't stop the hurt. But knowing that he's waiting...that helps, a little.


I heard this song on the radio, and I had instant inspiration. This was the result. I tried to make it with as little humor as possible (difficult for me, as you may know), and I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tim McGraw, this song, or any of its affilates.**

* * *

Tifa was washing dishes when Tseng stepped through the door. Tifa looked up with a smile, expecting Reno to come in behind him, forcing his boss into a mid-afternoon drink, as often happened on slow, boring Wednesdays. There was no Reno. Tseng was not wearing his 'I'm only putting up with this to get it over with' look. He looked grim. There was an envelope in his hand.

"I have some bad news, Tifa," he said gently.

_If you're reading this_

_My momma is sitting there_

_Looks like I only got a one way ticket over here_

_I sure wish I could give you one more kiss_

_War was just a game we played when we were kids_

_Well I'm laying down my gun_

_I'm hanging up my boots_

_I'm up here with God_

_And we're both watching over you_

Dear Tifa,

If you're reading this, then you know what's happened. If I didn't make it home, then I'm sorry. I've been hiding this from you, and I shouldn't have, but you probably understand why I did. Some of the others- mostly Vincent- have noticed, and they can explain to you better than a letter can. It's the Mako, and it always was. Mako was never meant to be put inside a human body. There's a reason there haven't been any SOLDIER children before ours. I had to keep working all this time. I had to know that you'd be okay, if anything ever happens to 7th Heaven.

Love you always,

Cloud

_So lay me down_

_In that open field out on the edge of town_

_And know my soul_

_Is where my momma always prayed where it would go._

_If you're reading this I'm already home_.

Tifa sat down at the bar, holding the letter in trembling hands. It was in Cloud's handwriting.

"How did you get this?" she whispered.

"We found him near the Forgotten City. It…it was in his hand."

"And he was…he was…" She couldn't say it. Tseng nodded.

"Yes."

"How?"

"Apparently his body just gave up on him. It's only a guess, but there were others, back when SOLDIER was still running."

"Where is he now?" A teardrop splashed onto the letter.

"With us. We'll keep him until you decided how you'd like him to be…" Tseng trailed off. "How long?"

"Another month and a half." Tifa's hand slid off the bar to rest on her stomach as she spoke. Tseng nodded.

"Take care of yourself."

_If you're reading this_

_Half way around the world_

_I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl_

_I hope she looks like you_

_I hope she fights like me_

_Stand up for the innocent and the weak_

_I'm laying down my gun_

_Hanging up my boots_

_Tell dad I don't regret that I followed in his shoes_

It was cloudy on the day they buried him. They'd chosen, after some deliberation, the plateau where Zack had died, all those years ago. Just like Zack, Cloud could watch over Midgar.

As they lowered the coffin, Yuffie began to sing very softly. It was a farewell song all of them had heard before, sung over the graves of warriors fallen in the Wutai War each year on the day the war had ended. After the first stanza, Tseng's voice joined Yuffie's in a haunting harmony. The clouds parted enough to admit a faint, golden light.

Behind Rufus, Reno hummed along, standing straight and tall in spite of his tears in respect for one of the few men he knew could beat him in less time then it took to order a drink at 7th Heaven.

Marlene and Denzel hugged one another, not understanding why Cloud was gone when there had been no battles to be fought.

Cid adjusted his collar and saluted with Venus Gospel. Beside him, Vincent bowed his head, mouthing his thanks to the man who had convinced him that sins could be forgiven.

Tifa sobbed brokenly, wrapped tightly in Barrett's arms.

The song reached its end. The clouds closed once more. A light rain began to fall.

_So lay me down_

_In that open field out on the edge of town_

_And know my soul is where my momma always prayed where it would go_

_If you're reading this, I'm already home_

For a while, people were constantly stopping by to see how Tifa was doing. Her rowdiest patrons kept quiet. Tifa wished that they would cause trouble; anything to occupy her mind. The peace gave her plenty of time to dwell on Cloud, and on the baby that would never know a real father.

Now and then, a call would come in from someone looking for a delivery, not knowing that Cloud was gone.

Skye Strife was born that spring. April, just like Cloud had guessed. She had Tifa's hair and eyes, but displayed Cloud's spirit right off the bat; when she met Vincent, she bopped him on the nose. She wasn't reaching for his hair. That privilege was reserved for Cid, who took one look at her and turned into a puddle of sentimental goo. Tifa left Skye with her 'uncles' and cried in her room.

_If you're reading this, there is going to come a day_

_You move on and find someone else and that's okay_

_Just remember this_

_I'm in a better place_

_Soldiers live in peace and angels sing amazing grace_

Months later, Tifa dreamed. She was sitting in a field Cloud had described to her. Aerith wasn't there. In her place was a tall man with spiky black hair and bluish purple eyes. Zack.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi."

"You know where you are, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I've got a message for you."

"What?"

"That letter Cloud left for you…it wasn't everything he wanted to say. I'm playing messenger boy and bringing the new one to you."

"Why can't Cloud?" Zack settled in the grass beside Tifa with a sigh.

"Time passes differently here. Cloud is still adjusting to everything. Lots of things are very different. People are different. Take the remnants as an example; I got my hands on them as soon as they crossed, and they're good kids now. Seph's still hanging around too –the world isn't ready for another guy like him yet- and he's the way he was before. It's all a little much for Cloud, and he's still learning how to access this place. It's not the Life Stream, after all. He'll come to you now and then, when he's ready. Here."

A letter popped into being in Zack's hand. He gave it to Tifa.

"Thank you."

"Any time. Say hi to Skye for me, 'kay?"

"Okay." Zack grinned.

"See ya 'round."

The letter was still in her hands when Tifa woke up the next morning. After feeding Skye, she sat down at the kitchen table and opened it.

Tifa,

I could write you a novel and never tell you everything I wanted to. Zack let me see Skye…she looks _just_ like you. Here's hoping her hair isn't as unruly as mine. About what happened…I was taking a shortcut, hoping that I could get home before my heart stopped. I didn't make it, but I tried.

Don't worry about the Mako in Skye's body; the dangerous part has been removed. She won't ever have to worry about going out like I did.

Vincent promised me that he'd check in on you from time to time. You may think that you don't need it, but I know you better than that; You'll need him the next time you've got a brawl on your hands. I feel guilty about telling him more than I told you, but you know how he is. He can make you tell him something without you realizing you've told him until afterwards.

Thank you for putting up with me and my moods for so long. I can honestly say that I didn't deserve it. My timing has never been any good, huh?

I'll leave off here, because I'm going to end up making my ink run otherwise. Remember that I love you, and I'll always be with you. Make sure Skye knows that her Daddy was a small-town boy who became a hero. I know she'll be a great kid.

Love,

Cloud

_So lay me down_

_In that open field out on the edge of town_

_And know my soul is where my momma prayed where that it would go_

_If you're reading this_

_If you're reading this_

_I'm already home_

Ms. Tinnen's 5th grade class was packed full. Today was career day, and all the students had brought their parents in to present. One desk didn't have a chair beside it.

"Skye? Is your parent not here yet? Would you like to wait?"

"No, ma'am. I'm ready."

"But-"

"He's here."

A small girl got up and went to the front of the room. She had a long braid of dark brown hair and deep purple eyes. She had a stack of papers and two poster boards in her hands. She borrowed the tape from the teacher's desk and began sticking her papers to the chalkboard. The posters went onto the chalk tray. The display featured a well-built blonde young man with a spiky mess of blonde hair. He carried a Buster Sword and often appeared on or near a sleek black motorcycle.

"This," Skye began, "is my Dad. His name is Cloud Strife. He was in SOLDIER, and he helped save the Planet."


End file.
